Missing

Missing.
Something is missing.
Someone.
You.

Something is missing in my daily routine. You, lately. I miss you with such pain it wrenches my heart to not look into your eyes. To not feel your touch. To not hear you or be near you. To not kiss you or hold you or make love to you.

This pain worries me. Its tough enough as it is, only seeing you once a week. Its tough enough as it is, only seeing you every now and then. But as tough as it is, I know this pain will pass,... but I fear that my heart will tear itself to pieces when I have to change jobs and we won't even have the moments we have now. It really worries me. I hope by the time I change jobs we'll have taken steps to be together.

I know it is too much to ask, for I know the love of children is stronger than anything. I know I can't possibly ask because I know avoiding their pain takes precedence, and rightly so. I know I can't ask because I love you and thusly I value and care for what and whom you love.

But I can dream. I can wish. I can hope. I can hope that you need to be with me as much as I need to be with you, for self-preservation, for what feels and is right in this world, for love. I can hope that the children are mature enough to know their mother needs to be and deserves to be happy and complete. I can dream of the time when they've adjusted and love both their parents equally, and accept me, not necessarily as a dad, I wouldn't presume to be such, but as a man that gives their mom balance, love, and happiness. I can wish for those days that we're finally together.

But for now,...
Something is missing.
Someone.
Missing.
From my daily life.

But never from my every thought.
That someone is you.
I absolutely, unprecedentedly, love you.
And I miss you more than words can express.