Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It Returns!

The demon is back! I had a fun yet exhausting trip out of town. I'm back now and will be soon up to speed on your blogs and with my posting, so hang in there with me if I don't have a comment on your site that's recent. I'll catch up soon! I've missed you all!


Holy damn I've missed you. You occupy a part of my brain, all of my sex drive urges, and yes, even a part of my heart. I know that a lot of people would say that its just the incredible, fantastic, wonderful, fulfilling, amazing, marvelous, better-than-anything-I've-ever-experienced, sex that makes me say those things, but I know that we connect on many levels. I think you feel it too.

I'm not saying I want to elope with you to Tibet where nothing can disturb us from our blissful times together. I'm just saying that I know you and I getting together is somehow, cosmically,.... right. It feels right. I know it is right. It just is. Something this good has to be 'right' doesn't it? I think we were meant for each other to fulfill what was missing in each of our lives. For that I'm extremely glad and very grateful. I sincerely hope that you feel the same way.

I know you may not feel that way, and that'd be alright with me, but I believe it to be true. I am willing to take what you can give. You know I will give to you everything I can, as in our strange circumstances, I know we both have limitations. But I want you to know that I trust you. I believe in you. I feel a connection with you that I've never felt with another, on several levels. I also know that you trust me. And to me, that means a great deal.

I also want you to know that for me to trust you, or anyone, it is no small matter. All my life I've been hurt and my trust has been abused. It is no easy thing for me to trust people. Usually it takes years of friendship to develop a strong sense of trust in a relationship for me. I know that we were meant to fill and share parts of each others' lives because as soon as I met you, I felt an almost immediate sense of trust with you. I trust you completely.

I also want you to understand something else about me. You and I have minimally talked about life and eternity. I honestly can't remember how much I've told you about what I believe. But I believe that after we pass from this world, we go somewhere else. I don't think it is reincarnation, but I think that somehow the spirit passes on and sometimes, when it is meant to be, we meet people again. I'm not sure if my seemingly innate sense of trust in you comes from us having met in the past, but I'm positive that I'd love to be with you in the next plane.

It seems that we have such a connection that we'd have to meet again. Kindred spirits, one might say. I'm extremely happy that you are a part of my life. If there is such a thing as a next plane of existence after this world, I hope it is with you. (For reference, you are my Julia. See "Defending Your Life.")