Lightning in my heart

When the day breaks
and my heart aches
when the sun shines
and my love guides

I think of you.

When the clouds soar
and the heavens roar
when lightning strikes
and my love guides

I think of you.

I can't help this feeling
that I'm with you but all alone
marry me please and take me home
I long to be with you every day
I want to be your love in every way

When the world waits
and my heart aches
when the sun shines
and my love guides

I think of you.

Online HNT

When we're not able to see each other face-to-face, we have only a few options... one of which is chatting online. Thanks for the hot words! You turn me on SO much!


I want you to know,... even when we're apart,.. I'm always thinking of you. Here's proof. :)

I wait

Horny desire
I infiltrate your love
I fuck you until your screams resonate
in the cavern of my mind

I don't know

what this thing is

but it feels good
this love inside of me
that makes me warm



How can the two mix and mingle?
How can they be conjoined?
Lust and Love, I've been told
are two different beasts
but not with her
not in my heart



For other women I've lusted
in a deluded past
filled with twists and turns
only to find her



on the straight and narrow road
holding both in her hands
as if they were fruits in a basket
she wields



I want to stay straight on 'til dawn
to see that glorious sunrise when she takes me
It is that light at the end of my tunnel
I await



Her coming will be my salvation
Her hand will be my rock
Her heart will be mine,
and mine, hers,
forever more



But today,
Today is a dark and gloomy day, yet
filled with hope and desire
Every day without her I am in darkness,
alone



I wait.

Soft good days...

Okay, here's something I hardly ever see posted / written about. Soft good days. Or "days" in general. Okay, ladies. Ya know how you have horny days and regular days and bloated days, etc? Well, guys have similar days in a way. That's right. Our penises have different days! Now, I know some of you know this,.. those that are lucky enough to find a guy who will talk openly with you about his own body. But there are a lot of women out there that just don't know this stuff. So I'm going to describe these "days" a bit.

The Cold Day - This is the day every man dreads. It might not even be cold outside, but for some reason our penises think its cold, and they shrivel and draw up into us so much that there's hardly a nub there sometimes. These days happen even to the best of us. Don't let a man tell you it doesn't happen to him. It does. The same goes for testicles. They act the same way when its cold. It is not a pretty sight. The same effect can be accomplished by getting out of a pool or a shower, especially into a cold room. Before trying to start anything sexually, please wait for us to warm up a bit. Our parts are shriveled and so are our egos when this happens.

The Sore Day - These are days when we're sore for some reason. Not our bodies, but our penises (from lots of sex) or our testicles (from yes, even a slight brush against something). And yes, it is true that we can even SIT the wrong way and hurt our own nuts - if a man's nuts hang down that far, that is. This usually won't happen on a cold day. Sore days are not good for sexual stimulation typically. Ask any man if he's ever buckled over in pain because he had a nut "twist." I guarantee you it was on a sore day. However, sometimes a little bit of pain can be a turn-on. If we say we're having a sore day, its best to ask first before starting a sexual encounter.

The Average Day - These are the days when we're an average temperature; not cold, not hot. Average days have the capability of going both ways, hot or cold, at a moment's circumstance. These are also good days for sexual stimulation, as we're just hangin' out so-to-speak, seeing what will happen. This is the most common state of phallic circumstance.

The Good Soft Day - These days are an awesome feeling. Sometimes, based largely upon our mood and the general state of being, we walk around with soft, yet thick or long days. What I mean is,.. if your man is typically long,... he'll be soft this day but longer than an average day. If your man is typically thicker,... he'll be soft this day but thicker than an average day. Sometimes, both. It feels great to have days like this! These are EXTREMELY good days for sexual encounters because its very easy to arouse us on these days and we're typically better lovers because of the starting condition of our parts, not to mention our moods because of it. This effect can sometimes be simulated by taking a hot, steamy shower.

The Random Hard Day - Some men have these, and from what I understand, some do not. Every now and then we'll walk around hard, off and on, all day long. Some guys will just get a boner once randomly on any given day (usually the good soft days or an average day), and some will get them on and off all day long. There is NO rhyme or reason to this. So ladies, please do not speculate that we saw some hot woman and it caused the growth. It just happens every now and then and we don't know why. I'm not saying we don't get hard SOMEtimes when we see a hot woman or think about one,.. but honestly,.. this does happen randomly as well and we just can't control it. These obviously are VERY good days for sexual encounters due to the nature of the day.

Well, I think that pretty much sums up our "days." I hope it helps you understand that we men also have different days. I'm not saying they're anywhere near the same as yours, but we do have uncontrollable changes to our bodies. Below, for my HNT, I've posted a photo of one of my "Good Soft" days. It felt great to walk around soft, and yet feeling thicker. Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday, everyone!!! :)

The most amazing of the wondrous marvels of life

Please don't let this unfortunate mishap bog our relationship down in your mind or heart. I'm certainly not letting it bog it down in mine. This incident, to me anyway, was trivial in comparison to how much I love you. I only wrote it down because those are the thoughts and feelings racing through my head at the time. But you know me. I get over my own emotions quickly. Yeah, I know, damn geminis! Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad since I think its a trait I developed from having my heart, mind, and body broken and bruised as a kid. But after everything else in this world,.. I know one thing for certain. I love you completely, and that's for sure. That love pervades everything.



I want to see you again soon. I miss you terribly and love you more than anything in the universe. As for your suggestion, I don't need to reexamine my feelings for you. I know EXACTLY what my feelings for you are. Pure love. True, to the core of my heart and soul, love, like I'd never experienced in my life until I met and got to know you. And I feel that love, so powerful, every time I think of you, look into your eyes, or kiss you. I am amazed by that. By its beauty and force. I think I'm a unique individual that often sees beauty in nature and holds it in high regard where many just pass it by without thought or consideration. I marvel at light in the sky, butterflies, and wind in the trees, as if through the eyes of children in awe. But the most beautiful thing I've ever seen or experienced in all my years of appreciating the wonders of this earth, is the power, connection, and love between you and I. Its so strong and touching that it makes me weep with tears of joy. I love you, Lustdemoness, with all of my heart mind body and spirit. You are my one and only love.

On the other ...

On the other side of the coin,... even writing what I wrote below upsets me. I dislike being upset. I'm normally a VERY patient and understanding guy. Certainly my love for her makes me a bit more emotional with/about her than I am with everyone else.

I love her completely. I want to be with her. I want to be a daily part of her life. I want to kiss her multiple times a day. That is my dream come true. I love you, lustdemoness!

Damn its aggravating sometimes!

Sometimes when LD's and I are apart for a while,.. she gets all .... weird. Distant. Mean. Upset. And I hate it. I want to be with her. I express my love to her. I tell her I'm always thinking of her. And yet, when we're apart,.. she sometimes says things that are really hurtful. Maybe its me. Maybe I say hurtful things without knowing it. But I honestly don't think I deserve the grief she sometimes gives me. Like today.

Today makes a week and a half we haven't seen each other. She saw a picture of me and the future ex along with some other people. She gave me all kinds of hell about it. She said I looked happy. She said I was smiling (like ya do in a picture). Well, I didn't mean for it to be spiteful or hateful, and I didn't want to rub it in her face either. But she got mean, and acted like I DID mean for it to be hateful. It certainly wasn't my intent. She sent me a picture of her and her husband on the beach together. Just the two of them. =/

So later in the discussion she asked me to go to lunch tomorrow. I said I couldn't. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought I could probably come up with a way to make it happen. I thought about it a while. I spoke to the future ex, came up with a way to make it possible so I could see the one woman I love, and so I asked her if she still wanted to see me for lunch. She said, "I guess." I know she's confused as to why I changed my mind. But the reality of it is,... I never changed my mind about WANTING to go to lunch with her. THAT is an automatic YES. I just figured a way out to make it happen, and that took a while is all. But she got pouty, angry, confused, and mean.

But I know LD's thinks I'm lying to her about it. Now she's not even speaking to me. I hate that. Damnit, I'm not fucking lying, not to HER. I love Lustdemoness more than anything, and yet, every time there's a delay or a small mishap in our communication, she assumes the worst. She thinks I'm lying. And that drives me crazy. the ONE woman in this world I wouldn't lie to, is her. I love her too much for it. I guess she just doesn't see that yet. :(

Another thing that has been bugging me lately is,.. her new boss. I've never really been the jealous type, well, not since my high school years. But I am a bit jealous of her new boss. He's a younger guy, kinda hip. She said once that she's attracted to him, even though now she says she never said that. She says things sometimes, seemingly just to hurt me, like,.. when I said I couldn't do lunch tomorrow, she replied, Well I guess I'll just go to lunch with (him). She knows I'm jealous of this guy. Why would she say that to me? Is it a game? Does she think its fun to make me squirm? Well what it does is, it hurts my feelings. It isn't my fault that I had something else planned.

Sometimes I just don't know, and can't tell where I stand in her life. I try, I honestly TRY to make it extremely clear that she's all that means anything in my life. I know she has kids that rightfully will come before me. But other than them,.. its hard to tell sometimes just because of what she says to me.

Like I said though, sometimes maybe its me. Maybe I say things that make her strike back, but I hope not. I don't think anything I say to her is that bad. *shrug* Its quite frustrating at times. And yet, despite all that, I love her more than anything. Not because of it though. Just,... because.